莫非定律計畫(有微腐插圖)(有中文版(分岔人生中第一次打的小說)

分岔

之前有同學說我是腐男

我都不承認

不過在看過我第一次打的小說之後

我就想啊

說不定是真的

我的母語不是英文

會打出這篇文是因為這是英文課的作業

老師給我們十個主題發揮(高中時)

我選了莫非定律

其實只要寫滿一張A4只就好了

但不知為何卻寫了將近7 8 頁(靈感大神附身)

我知道御論有很多香港人

香港人英文應該都很厲害

所以

有請各位大大幫我看看吧.......

Personification Project-Murphy’s Law

It was Saturday. It was sunny and there was no wind. Everything seemed peaceful.
If the situation was so peaceful, how did my story go on? It’s because there was just short period of peace before a huge storm.
I was doing my homework with my computer and my cousin kept me company.
My cousin is a computer engineer who just finished his army service.
It is possible that mandatory army service will be canceled so I don’t have to take army service in the future.
My homework was about art and the theme was personification.
If my computer was personified, it would be an old and half-deaf man walking slowly with a cane.
If your pet became human, would you pet it as usual?
If my computer became human, how could I use it?
The left chest would be Enter.
The hand would be mouse.
And the eyes would reflect images on a wall.
As imagination went on, my desire to turn my computer into a human became stronger.
I didn’t know why.
Using a human-like computer would be a hassle.
You would have to make some embarrassing poses to use it.
At last, I finished my homework and asked my cousin if technology can really turn a computer into a human.
My cousin was like’’ You watch too much science fiction.”
I was a little disappointed, but when I searched for the word, personification with the Google search engine again.
I found a special website with a strange download saying click here for a computer personification program.
“Don’t click it.” My cousin warned me. “Maybe it’s a virus.”
But my hand uncontrollably moved the mouse and clicked the link.
At that moment my computer glowed and slowly turned into a human.
It was a boy with round red eyes like lights of my computer, obviously but with symmetrical muscles with symbols of keyboard buttons, white skin like my computer shell and long white hair like electric wires.
Was he an albino?
My cousin and I were so flabbergasted that we couldn’t even speak.
And he just sat there watching us with pure expression in his eyes.
At last, I broke the silence.
“How old are you?” I asked
“I’m six.”
A six year old body builder！
Well it was not the point, although I was envious of it.
“I have heard of it before. “said my cousin “But I thought it was just a story,”
“In order to enable old people and low-educated people to use a computer our government started a project where the ex-president had to borrow more money from his supporters, and now he is even in a lawsuit for the money he got.
That is not the point.
The point is that the project succeeded.
The computer will be easier to use and what’s more, the proportion of poor people caused by a lack of Internet knowledge will decrease. “
“Why will the lack of internet knowledge cause poverty? “I asked
“For example, some farmers and local craft makers don’t know how to commercialize their products with the Internet, so that they only have a small market, if they know how to do it, their market will spread to the whole world.
What’s more they can learn extra knowledge.
Being a farmer isn’t easy; it’s a kind of bio-technology, but farmers in Taiwan always use wrong ways to grow crops or fruits, like fertilizing crops too much , wrong proportion of pesticides etc”
”Enough！”I shouted
“Are you an expert of agriculture or a computer engineer?
I know the author didn’t give you much chance to talk in the previous part, but you overreacted.
Do you stand in my computer’s shoes?
He should be the main character, but he just said a sentence “I’m six”.”
As soon as I finished yelling at my cousin, the door bell rang.
I opened the door and found out there was a group of people in black suits standing in front of my house.
“I’m a TST (Taiwan Secret technology) agent. “Said the agent.
” Ten billion will be paid to you for helping us finish our computer personification project.”
“You did it on purpose, didn’t you, Lavender.” said my cousin
“I don’t want to get involved with that hassle. That was why I quit my job in the military.”
“Really? But you made a lot of intelligent remarks with your eyes sparkling. “I asked
“I did. BUT, I don’t want to do it by myself. I just want to rest and enjoy the result. “My cousin answered
“We chose this house as an experiment court at random. “
Said Lavender with an evil smile
” Every expert wants this job, but the weirdo, Clarence refused it.”
Congratulations！My cousin’s name is finally known to the readers
“It is not simply a hassle.” Said Clarence with serious expression in his eyes
“The last thing I’m going to say is that this project is still on the experimental process.
Only when you bring up your computer to sixteen year old, can you get the ten billion.
If your mission failed, you’ll have to pay us ten billion.” said Lavender
“You should have read the contract before clicking the link.”Lavender smiled
“Will this kind of contract work?”I thought.
“Do you forget that you even enter your identity card number and credit card ones?”
“Your cousin must have been scammed many times. ”Lavender smiled
“Poor Clarence.”

When they are gone, I made a conclusion “We’ll either be in Heaven or Hell.”
After I made this conclusion, I went back to try to use my computer.
When I went back, I found something terrible that it hadn’t occurred to me

“Little did I know, your intelligent remarks froze him” I complained
“Internet, global market, pesticide proportion…”Eliot was talking nonsense
It is the name, Eliot that I gave to him
“I took you here in case my computer freezes, but you didn’t only freeze him,butalso bring me ten billion in debt. “I complained
“I’m trying my best to fix him. Don’t bother me. “Said Clarence
Only when I faced this situation, did I think about Murphy’s Law.
Every time I use my computer alone, it freezes. This time I took a computer engineer with me, the situation is worse.
But it’s not a big deal. With my love to Eliot and Clarence’s skill at fixing computers, Eliot, Clarence and will live a happy life in subsequent ten years.
“Wait！Can a computer grow up? “I asked
“I told you. It’s not merely a hassle. “Replied Clarence
Maybe
“Did Lavender read my mind?” I asked
“It’s needless to use ESP power to read your mind. “ Clarence sighed

Special feature

Eliot



繪師(夏禹與季)說:才6歲而已
我大概也是第一次畫年紀這麼小的吧
所以比例怪怪的要說XD

另外衣服版我可以解釋一下
大概13歲那邊會開始打GAME是小孩的天性
所以我想說如果他是一台電腦
他就可以玩自己
呃...應該說用自己的電腦玩?
唉...不知道該怎麼說
不過我覺得可以用這樣表現他是一台電腦
不是遊戲機喔

我(分岔)回應:很不錯
超可愛的

其實我覺得你忘了一點東西
Etner和shift旁都有箭頭
加下去比較有鍵盤的感覺
還有
肚擠放上電源按鈕會更可愛(雖然有安全之虞)(個人想法)
故事裡面還有3位角色
我看還是寄給你故事好了
意思就是有新工作了
雖然是英文
不過只有單字難一點
不錯呢,你的英文一定會進步的 (奸笑) 如果不行
我會寄中文版給你
就這樣
最後
當然不用重畫了
本來是想這樣講的(迷之音:真拐彎抹角的一個人)可是肌肉太小了
根本看不到
可是又不想變成七龍珠的兄貴正太(好矛盾)
再多放一點鍵盤唄(如Tab/Alt/ctrl)
失禮了
重畫一下吧
我該不會是第一個要求重畫的唄
有一個好玩的益智RPGhttp://armorgames.com/play/3273/knightfall

有空就玩玩吧

於是又有新版本

夏:的確是第一個要重劃的阿XD
還好啦
其實那張我也不太滿意
人化太小
沒辦法寫字上去=口=

不過我覺得6歲小孩有這麼大塊的肌肉根本不是人了
(雖然他本來就已經不是人=P
恩
好吧我會再次努力
指示鍵盤要放哪我還要研究一下XD
還有他的滑鼠放哪阿
還有USB插孔?
還有主機的總電源?
那些東西會有嗎XD

順代一提
我英文爛到單字都背不起來
(這是什麼鬼譬喻法阿=口=
的確是第一個要重劃的阿XD
還好啦
其實那張我也不太滿意
人化太小
沒辦法寫字上去=口=

不過我覺得6歲小孩有這麼大塊的肌肉根本不是人了
(雖然他本來就已經不是人=P
恩
好吧我會再次努力
指示鍵盤要放哪我還要研究一下XD
還有他的滑鼠放哪阿
還有USB插孔?
還有主機的總電源?
那些東西會有嗎XD

順代一提
我英文爛到單字都背不起來
(這是什麼鬼譬喻法阿=口=

分岔:usb.....................(鼻孔)
滑鼠.....................首先要握住他的手然後使用(這設定有點怪)
其他三人就算了
先把Eliot搞好唄
哆啦x夢也不是吃東西就能補充能源(必要時就用頭髮充電唄,本來就從電線變成的)

夏禹:給分岔大

不好意思沒簽名
我真的好忙=口=





那個上下左右鍵忘了描了=口=
看得到嗎?
我有稍微改一下
比較沒那麼呆
(雖然說呆呆的也不錯XD

你說USB插鼻孔害我噴了XD

好啦
我不能再幫你畫了
因為我搬家要切網路
搬過去我媽又不要接網路
以後可能都不會上網
所以說我會退出繪鋪
真的很抱歉

希望這最後的作品您還滿意=)

PS
因為最近借了銀魂26集
所以肌肉研究蠻多的(封面就是肌肉男XD



在此感謝夏禹與季(此人的化名)作畫


  因為這是作業

所以有給老師看過 應該是沒啥問題(因為老師是美\國人)
不過我給老師的事沒附插圖的(有還得了
不過這是我之後又稍微改了一下的版本

所以不知道有啥文法錯誤

劇情不通順不分也請大大們看看

那位英文老師還稱讚我說

這是他近十年來改到最好的作業

我想有很大原因是篇幅長的關係吧(因為我同學都寫很短

而且好像沒完結

這故事

禁寒.界

大大，我直接用Google的瀏覽器翻是這樣....

人格化項目，墨菲定律

這是星期六。 這是陽光普照，沒有風。 一切都顯得平靜。
如果情況是如此平靜，我的故事怎麼走呢？ 這是因為那裡只是短暫的和平之前，巨大的風暴。
我在做我的功課我的電腦和我的表弟使我的公司。
我的表弟是一個電腦工程師，誰剛剛完成他的軍隊服務。
這可能是強制性的軍隊服務將被取消，所以我沒有參加軍隊服務於未來。
我的家庭作業，是對藝術和主題是化身。
如果我的電腦是人格化的，那將是老半聾子拐杖慢慢走路。
如果您的寵物成為人類，你會寵物它像往常一樣？
如果我的電腦成為人類，我怎麼能使用它嗎？
左胸部將輸入。
將鼠標手。
和眼睛能反映圖像在牆上。
作為想像的流逝，我的願望，把我的計算機進入人類變得更強。
我不知道為什麼。
使用一類人的計算機將是一個麻煩。
你將不得不作出一些令人尷尬的姿態來使用它。
最後，我完成我的功課，問我的表哥，如果技術能夠真正成為一台計算機到一個人。
就像我的表妹''你看太多科幻小說。“
我有點失望，但是當我搜索這個詞，擬人與谷歌的搜索引擎了。
我發現了一個專門的網站下載了一個奇怪的說法點擊這裡進行計算機程序的化身。
“不要點擊它。”我的表弟警告我。 “也許這是一個病毒。”
但我的手無法控制地移動鼠標和點擊鏈接。
在那一刻我的計算機發光，慢慢地變成了人類。
這是一個男孩，圓燈紅眼睛像我的電腦，但顯然與對稱的肌肉與符號的鍵盤按鈕，白皮膚像我的電腦外殼和長長的白頭髮像電線。
他是一個患有白化病？
我的表弟和我是如此驚訝，我們甚至無法說話。
他只是坐在那裡看著我們純表達他的眼睛。
最後，我打破了沉默。
“你多大了？”我問
“我6個。”
一個6歲的身體建設者！
那麼它是不是重點，雖然我羨慕它。
“我聽說過。 “說我的表妹”但我以為這只是一個故事“
“為了讓老人和低學歷的人使用電腦，我們的政府啟動了一個項目如前總統不得不借更多的錢從他的支持者，現在他更是在訴訟的錢，他得到了。
這不是重點。
問題是該項目取得了成功。
該計算機將被更易於使用，更重要的是，貧困人口的比例造成的缺乏互聯網知識將減少。 “
“為什麼會缺乏互聯網知識導致貧窮？ “我問
“例如，一些農民和當地手工藝者不知道如何與他們的產品商業化的互聯網，讓他們只有一個很小的市場，如果他們知道怎樣做，他們的市場將蔓延到整個世界。
更重要的是，他們可以學習額外的知識。
作為一個農民不容易，它是一個種生物技術，但農民在台灣一直使用錯誤的方法來種植農作物或水果，如農作物施肥太多，農藥等錯誤的比例“
“夠了！“我喊道
“你是一個農業專家或電腦工程師？
我知道作者沒有給你多少機會在前面的談話的一部分，但你反應過度。
你站在我的計算機的鞋？
他應該是主角，但他只說了一句：“我6個”。“
當我完成了我的表弟在大喊大叫，門鈴響了。
我打開門，發現有一組黑色西服的人站在我家門前。
“我是尖沙咀（台灣秘密技術）代理。 “代理商說道。
“10億美元將支付給您幫助我們完成我們的計算機項目的化身。”
“你們這樣做是故意的，沒有你，薰衣草。”說我的表弟
“我不想捲入與這種麻煩。 這就是為什麼我辭掉工作的軍隊。“
“真的嗎？ 但你做了不少的智能言論與你的眼睛閃閃發光。 “我問
“我做到了。 但是，我不想做我自己。 我只想休息和享受的結果。 “我的表妹回答
“我們之所以選擇這家法院作為一個隨機實驗。 “
薰衣草說，與邪惡的笑容
“每個專家想要這份工作，但怪人，克拉倫斯拒絕它。”
恭喜！我表弟的名字是最後知道的讀者
“這不僅是一個麻煩。”說克拉倫斯與嚴肅的表情在他的眼睛
“過去的事情，我要說的是，這個項目仍然在實驗過程。
只有當你把你的計算機，16歲，你能得到的10億美元。
如果你的任務失敗了，你就必須支付給我們 10000000000。“說薰衣草
“你應該閱讀的合同在點擊鏈接。”薰衣草微笑
“請問這種合同的工作呢？”我想。
“難道你忘了，你甚至輸入您的身份證號碼和信用卡的呢？”
“你的表妹一定是被騙了很多次。 “薰衣草微笑
“可憐的克拉倫斯。”

當他們走了，我犯了一個結論：“要么我們將在天堂或地獄。”
當我提出這個結論，我回到我的電腦嘗試使用。
當我回去，我找到了一些可怕的，它沒有想到我

“那時，我知道，你的智能言論凍結他說：”我抱怨
“互聯網，全球市場，農藥的比例...”艾略特是胡說八道
這是名稱，艾略特，我給了他
“我把你在這裡如果我的電腦死機，但你沒有他只是凍結，進而翻轉使我10億美元的債務。 “我抱怨
“我想我最好的解決他。 不要打擾我。 “說克拉倫斯
只有當我面對這種情況，當時我想到了墨菲定律。
每當我用我的電腦本身，凍結。 這一次，我參加了一個電腦工程師與我來說，情況更為嚴重。
但它不是一個大問題。 用我的愛艾略特和克拉倫斯的技能在固定的電腦，艾略特，克拉倫斯將過著幸福的生活在隨後的10年。
“等一等！計算機能否長大？ “我問
“我告訴你。 這不僅是一個麻煩。 “回复克拉倫斯
也許
“薰衣草有沒有讀懂我的心思？”我問
“這是不用使用ESP權力了解你的心思。 “克拉倫斯嘆了口氣

特殊功能

艾略特


是這樣吧？
不過大大你竟然是腐男
噢噢太感動啦啊啊啊
腐男是這世界的珍寶((拇指

八羽

2# 禁寒.界
小界幫樓大翻譯的都十分正確呢~V~
本來還想樓大翻譯,
誰不知小界已經搶先把文給翻譯啦~~~


在我的所有學習科目中,我只有英文是最高分了.....Orz....

sherry2008719

有些字(非名字)在文馨辭典上找不到呢
是我的書太舊了嗎?
看完翻譯後
感覺莫非定律好像是未來科技才會有的
很神奇！

hrrefree

我是先看英文版才看中文翻譯的,可是有些小地方感覺用翻譯機翻的不太通順?

(ex:一下表弟一下表妹的= ="...)

雖然整體來說我看得懂啦...(←腦內自行補足)

分岔

嗯......我 還是希望有英文高手能翻譯一下(不要用眼睛博士(Dr.Eye

還有

你們不懂卻查不到的字也可以問我一下

Clarence 有四輪馬車的意思(不過克雷倫斯這人名不錯

like 的 特殊用法 ---- She was like''........''

=She said ''......''

那個like 有當說.........哪句話的意思  算比較口語

SPECIAL FEATURE=我是指幕後花絮的意思

還有

豋場腳色都是男的

這台電腦的使用方法好像還蠻變態的

我還以為你們討論重點都會放在插圖......

分岔

剛剛發現
ESP POWER被翻成ESP 權力.......冏

超能力有分兩種

PK型和ESP型

PK 致動能力.......能憑空把物體移動之類的

ESP......讀取他人心思或控制他人思想之類的

LAVENDER的確是薰衣草

不過因為是人名

我想應該翻雷文德

說這麼多

我還是懶的寫中文版....

就算原文一樣

我還是想看其他人怎麼翻呢

hrrefree

擬人化計劃－莫非定律

那是一個天氣晴空萬里的禮拜六，一切看起來似乎非常的平和，
If the situation was so peaceful, how did my story go on? It’s because there was just short period of peace before a huge storm.
但如果真的那麼平和，那我的故事怎麼進行下去？因為這只是在暴風雨前短暫的平和而已
I was doing my homework with my computer and my cousin kept me company.
那時我正在用我的電腦做功課，而我的表弟在一旁陪著我
My cousin is a computer engineer who just finished his army service.
我表弟是一個剛當完兵的電腦工程師
It is possible that mandatory army service will be canceled so I don’t have to take army service in the future.
這可能是因為義務役即將被取消，所以我未來並不需要當兵。
My homework was about art and the theme was personification.
我的作業是有關藝術，而主題則是擬人化
If my computer was personified, it would be an old and half-deaf man walking slowly with a cane.
如果我的電腦被擬人化，它有可能會是個杵著一根拐杖緩慢前進的半聾老人，
If your pet became human, would you pet it as usual?
如果你的寵物變成人類，你的寵物還會正常嗎？
If my computer became human, how could I use it?
如果我的電腦變成人類，我又該怎麼使用它？
The left chest would be Enter.
左胸有可能會是ｅｎｔｅｒ鍵
The hand would be mouse.
手則可能是滑鼠
And the eyes would reflect images on a wall.
然後眼睛能把影像反射在牆上，
As imagination went on, my desire to turn my computer into a human became stronger. I didn’t know why.
當我不斷的幻想時，我想把我的電腦變成一個人類的想法越來越強烈，但我並不知道為什麼
Using a human-like computer would be a hassle.
用一台長的像人類的電腦感覺會非常的麻煩
You would have to make some embarrassing poses to use it.
因為當你用它時你必須做一些尷尬的動作來使用它
At last, I finished my homework and asked my cousin if technology can really turn a computer into a human.
總之最後，我終於完成了我的作業，並且問我表弟科技是否可能把一台電腦變成一個人類

My cousin was like’’ You watch too much science fiction.”
當我問完，我的表弟則是用一副”你科幻小說看太多了”的表情看著我
I was a little disappointed, but when I searched for the word, personification with the Google search engine again. I found a special website with a strange download saying click here for a computer personification program.
這讓我感到有點小失望，但當我用Google搜尋” personification”這個字時，我找到一個很特別的網站，裡面有一個下載連結寫著”點此使您的電腦擬人化”
“Don’t click it.” My cousin warned me. “Maybe it’s a virus.”
「別點。」我表弟跟我說，「這個很有可能是個病毒。」
But my hand uncontrollably moved the mouse and clicked the link. At that moment my computer glowed and slowly turned into a human.
但我卻不能控制我的手，用滑鼠點了那個連結，就在那一瞬間，我的電腦開始發亮，過不久慢慢變成一個人類
It was a boy with round red eyes like lights of my computer, obviously but with symmetrical muscles with symbols of keyboard buttons, white skin like my computer shell and long white hair like electric wires.
他是一個男孩，他有著的紅色眼睛就像我電腦的電源顯示燈一樣，身上有線條明顯又均勻的肌肉，上面則有鍵盤上的按鍵，白色的皮膚就像我電腦的外殼，長長的白頭髮就像一條條的電線一般
Was he an albino?
「他是一個白化病患嗎？」我心底這樣想著
My cousin and I were so flabbergasted that we couldn’t even speak.
同時我跟我表弟也嚇了一大跳，導致完全說不出話來。
And he just sat there watching us with pure expression in his eyes.
而他眼中透露著單純無知，只是坐在那邊看著我們
At last, I broke the silence.
最後，我打破了沉默。
“How old are you?” I asked
「你幾歲？」我問。
“I’m six.”
「我六歲。」
A six year old body builder！
一個六歲的小孩居然有那麼線條明顯又均勻的肌肉！
Well it was not the point, although I was envious of it.
儘管我非常的忌妒，但這並不是重點！
“I have heard of it before. “said my cousin “But I thought it was just a story,”
「我之前聽過有關把電腦變成人類的事情，」我表弟說「但我認為那只是一個故事。」

“In order to enable old people and low-educated people to use a computer our government started a project where the ex-president had to borrow more money from his supporters, and now he is even in a lawsuit for the money he got. That is not the point. The point is that the project succeeded. The computer will be easier to use and what’s more, the proportion of poor people caused by a lack of Internet knowledge will decrease. “
他繼續接著說「為了讓老人跟只接受過低階教育的人可以使用電腦，我們的政府實行了一個計劃，而這個計劃使得前總統必須從他的支持者那借一筆龐大的錢，而他現在甚至還因為那筆錢在接受法律的訴訟。但這並不重要，重點是這個計劃成功了！電腦將會變得更容易使用，而最重要的是，因為貧窮而造成缺乏網路知識的人也會減少。」
“Why will the lack of internet knowledge cause poverty? “I asked
「那為什麼缺乏網路知識會造成貧窮呢？」我問
“For example, some farmers and local craft makers don’t know how to commercialize their products with the Internet, so that they only have a small market, if they know how to do it, their market will spread to the whole world. What’s more they can learn extra knowledge. Being a farmer isn’t easy; it’s a kind of bio-technology, but farmers in Taiwan always use wrong ways to grow crops or fruits, like fertilizing crops too much , wrong proportion of pesticides etc”
「舉例來說，有些當地的農夫跟手工藝者因為不知道如何使用網路來銷售他們的產品，所以他們只有小的市場，但如果他們知道如何使用網路，他們的市場將會是整個世界！除此之外，他們還可以學習額外的知識。且身為農夫並不是一件簡單的事情，因為種田也是一種生物科技，但台灣的農夫總是使用錯誤的方式來種植穀物跟水果，像是給穀物施太多肥、農藥比例使用錯誤等等…」
”Enough！”I shouted
「停！別說了！」我大叫
“Are you an expert of agriculture or a computer engineer? I know the author didn’t give you much chance to talk in the previous part, but you overreacted. Do you stand in my computer’s shoes? He should be the main character, but he just said a sentence “I’m six”.”
「你到底是農業專家還是電腦專家啊？我知道作者在前面的部分並沒有給你很多機會講話，但是你的反應太過激烈了，而且你到底有沒有想過我電腦的立場啊？他明明是主要角色，卻只講了一句『我六歲』！」

hrrefree

As soon as I finished yelling at my cousin, the door bell rang. I opened the door and found out there was a group of people in black suits standing in front of my house.
當我結束對我表弟的怒吼，門鈴突然響了。我打開門卻發現有一組穿著黑西裝的人站在我家前面。
“I’m a TST (Taiwan Secret technology) agent. “Said the agent. ” Ten billion will be paid to you for helping us finish our computer personification project.”
「我是台灣機密科技TST的探員。」探員說。「如果你幫我們完成電腦擬人化的計劃，我們將會給你十億美元。」

“You did it on purpose, didn’t you, Lavender.” said my cousin “I don’t want to get involved with that hassle. That was why I quit my job in the military.”
「Lavender，你是故意的對不對？」我表弟說。「這就是為什麼我要辭掉我在軍隊裡的工作，因為我並不想要捲入這件麻煩的事。」
“Really? But you made a lot of intelligent remarks with your eyes sparkling. “I asked
「真的嗎？但你卻眼睛閃爍的講了一堆聰明的見解。」我說。
“I did. BUT, I don’t want to do it by myself. I just want to rest and enjoy the result. “My cousin answered
「我是講了沒錯，但我並不像要自己做。我只想要好好的休息並且享受之後的結果。」我表弟回答。
“We chose this house as an experiment court at random. “Said Lavender with an evil smile
「我們隨機選擇一棟房子當作我們的實驗場所。」Lavender面帶邪惡的微笑說。
” Every expert wants this job, but the weirdo, Clarence refused it.”
「所有的專家都想要這份工作，但這個怪人Clarence卻拒絕了。」
Congratulations！My cousin’s name is finally known to the readers
恭喜！讀者們終於知道我表弟叫甚麼名子了！
“It is not simply a hassle.” Said Clarence with serious expression in his eyes
「但它並不僅僅是個麻煩。」Clarence眼中帶著嚴肅說
“The last thing I’m going to say is that this project is still on the experimental process.
Only when you bring up your computer to sixteen year old, can you get the ten billion.
If your mission failed, you’ll have to pay us ten billion.” said Lavender
「我想說的最後一件事情是，這個計劃現在仍在實驗階段中，只有當你把你的電腦養到十六歲，你才能拿到十億美元，但如果你失敗了，你就必須給我們十億美元。」Lavender說。
“You should have read the contract before clicking the link.”Lavender smiled
「你應該先看清楚合約在點那個連結。」Lavender邊微笑邊說。
“Will this kind of contract work?”I thought.
「這是一種合同工作嗎？」我想
“Do you forget that you even enter your identity card number and credit card ones?”
「難道你忘記你已經輸入了你的身分證字號跟信用卡號碼嗎？」
“Your cousin must have been scammed many times. ”Lavender smiled
「你表弟已經被騙過很多次了。」Lavender笑得更燦爛了。
“Poor Clarence.”
「可憐的Clarence啊…」

When they are gone, I made a conclusion “We’ll either be in Heaven or Hell.”
當他們走之後，我做了一個結論「我們現在不是在天堂就是在地獄。」
After I made this conclusion, I went back to try to use my computer.
我做完這個結論之後，我走回去試著用我的電腦。
When I went back, I found something terrible that it hadn’t occurred to me
當我走到電腦那邊，我發現一件從沒發生在我身上的糟糕事情。
“Little did I know, your intelligent remarks froze him” I complained
「我從來都不知道，你聰明的見解會嚇到他。」我抱怨。
“Internet, global market, pesticide proportion…”Eliot was talking nonsense
「網際網路、全球市場、農藥比例…」Eliot不斷講著一堆無意義的話。
It is the name, Eliot that I gave to him
順帶一提，Eliot是我幫它取的名子。
“I took you here in case my computer freezes, but you didn’t only freeze him, but also bring me ten billion in debt. “I complained
「我把你帶到這以免我的電腦故障，但你現在不只讓他故障了，你還讓我負了十億美元的債務！」我抱怨的說。
“I’m trying my best to fix him. Don’t bother me. “Said Clarence
「別吵我，我正在盡力的修理他。」Clarence說。
Only when I faced this situation, did I think about Murphy’s Law.
當我面對這個狀況，我才想到甚麼叫做莫非定律。
Every time I use my computer alone, it freezes. This time I took a computer engineer with me, the situation is worse.
每次當我自己用電腦時它就故障。這次我帶了一個電腦工程師，但情況反而更糟糕。
But it’s not a big deal. With my love to Eliot and Clarence’s skill at fixing computers, Eliot, Clarence and will live a happy life in subsequent ten years.
但這並沒甚麼。有我對Eliot的愛跟Clarence修電腦的高超技巧，Eliot跟Clarence將會過著往後快樂的十年生活。
“Wait！Can a computer grow up? “I asked
「等等！一台電腦有可能會長大嗎？」我問。
“I told you. It’s not merely a hassle. “Replied Clarence
「我跟你說過的，這不僅僅只是個麻煩而已。」Clarence回答。
Maybe
有可能吧。
“Did Lavender read my mind?” I asked
「那Lavender知道我在想甚麼嗎？」我又問。
“It’s needless to use ESP power to read your mind. “ Clarence sighed
「我想應該沒必要用第六感知道你在想甚麼吧…」Clarence嘆氣。


ps:樓主，我有許多地方還翻的不太通順，因為我不知道有沒有翻出大大您想表達的意思ＺＺＺ
　　還請您幫我修改，感謝∼∼（鞠躬）
　　（ｐｓ：我第一次翻這麼長的文章＠＠）

分岔

WOW 太棒了

我自己寫好像也沒那麼好

不過啊

Clarence應該比我年長才對

因為他先當兵了啊